I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize