Where is the hickey?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
