He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
