it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
