I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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