She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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