I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
