Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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