It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
