Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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