I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
