Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize