She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
