I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
