My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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