what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
