make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
