Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
