its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
