If that was your dad, he is hot
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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