Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
