I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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