I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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