Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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