Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
