There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
