Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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