I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
