she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize