Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
