So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
