sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
