Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
