maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
