Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
