dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Houston, we have a squirter
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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