I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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