During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
thus making me awesome and them whores
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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