What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
