Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
