the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
