i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
