Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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