I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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