Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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