Will you blow on my dice?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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