Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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