i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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