Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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