Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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