your room smells of hookers.
And success
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
