he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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