This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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