There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
