i just had sex bonerless
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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