Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize