i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
