I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
