Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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