Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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