Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
