im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
