beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
